Seasons | 2020 Reflections

2020 was quite the year. We've all dealt with loss, despair, heartache, and everything else under the sun. When I planned for this year, I knew I wanted it to be a BIG year for Shardaisy. I planned to launch my website, move across the country, and plant seeds that will harvest into something bigger down the line.

Before I dive into the lessons I learned, I want to highlight the good things that came out of this year. First being I moved! Dallas was on the top of my vision board for 2020, so to make it happen reminds me that I am limitless. Next, I hit my savings goal for the year in July. I used to be BAD with money. To the point, I lived in the negatives. However, I heard Myliek say she saves so aggressively that when life happens she's inconvenienced but not overdrawn. I got a grip on my finances and started saving in 2019 which was perfect because I live a little more worry-free these days. What helped most was opening a savings account at a credit union that was not attached to my checking. I didn't get an ATM card for that account and had 10% of my checks deposited into that account automatically. Lastly, my website! I came back with a bang, and I'm proud of myself. I never expected so many orders, likes, shares, and ultimately support. It's humbling to know that people rock with me and want to see me win. So THANK YOU for contributing to the good of 2020.


On the learning side, I learned that I was a control freak the day we drove to Dallas. Looking back over my life I can see that I am but it never really dawned on me. I remember getting my hair braided when I was around 6/7. When I was done and waiting for my mom to pick me up the lady said to me, "why do you look like you're worried about who's paying the bills." That moment is a general statement of my life. I am always worried, which turns into me being a control freak. I know what life looks like when you don't have control over your life, and I never wanted that for myself. HOWEVER, I have learned a lot about myself with this move and I am learning to relinquish my need for control. I can't control anything or anyone. The only thing I can control is myself, my actions, and my reactions. 


I also learned that just like the earth has seasons, so does my life and relationships. I learned how to deal with the ups and downs of friendships and my relationship and how to navigate through different seasons. A friend of mine and I went through a season where we had to create boundaries and face a hard time that we had never experienced before. Alternatively, moving across the country with my boyfriend thrust us into a different season as well, where we had to deal with boundaries, who we are becoming, and what we want out of life. None of it was easy, but I think we all learned that boundaries are essential and, even though a tough time feels like the end, if it's worth it, you'll fight for it. I have to keep in mind that eventually, I'll always get back to a season that feels like the summer sun in all realms of life. 


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